“Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty”.- Mother Teresa
Loneliness is more than being physically alone. It can make you feel like you’re completely alone even when you have people around, It can make you feel like you’re not enough, it’s an emptiness you feel that can’t be filled by human contact.
Sometimes we choose to be with people out of loneliness instead of love because we fear being alone and unwanted.
Loneliness can make you feel like you’re not enough or you’re never going to be good enough.
I never thought I was enough. I never thought anyone loved me. Sure, I heard the words “I love you” but I didn’t feel them.
Mini flashback…
I found out I was adopted at a young age at first It didn’t bother me but it explained a lot because I never felt like I ever fit in. As kids, we can be cruel sometimes and we say things to hurt each other without realizing the effect our words have.
Being a child at such a young age and hearing that your birth mother didn’t want you and she should’ve had an abortion would torment any child and because I moved around lot growing up, whenever I was in a new household it was the same thing. Being teased no one wanted me and my birth mother didn’t love me, overtime when you keep hearing the same thing over and over, eventually you start to believe it.
… As a teen, I never felt like I was good enough. I was always seeking my mom’s approval but because we don’t have the best relationship the feeling of not being wanted or loved grew even stronger.
Overtime, the feeling of not being wanted by my birth mom and adopted mom grew into, no one will ever love or want me. I felt empty and alone.
I wasn’t good enough for them so how could I ever be good enough for anyone else.
It’s crazy how our mind works. Humans, such fascinating creatures.
Going back to one of my recent post, I had to learn to accept the things I couldn’t change and change the things I could. I stopped asking myself if I was enough and started telling myself I was more than enough. Sure, I may have had a few battle scars and broken pieces that needed to be picked up but I am enough. It was time I became enough for myself.
You will never be satisfied with yourself until you can accept, acknowledge, and appreciate who you are.
You are enough just as you are.
Update, February 2021: Due to a server crash, I lost 80% of my blog content. At first I was extremely sad because all my comments, views and status was lost. But, I try to find the silver lining and accept that everything happens for a reason. I wrote a 31 days of self love post in 2017. Some content were able to be saved others wasn't. I chose to share what remained because it helped so many people opened up.